slew of words

quixotic – adjective – exceedingly idealistic; unrealistic and impractical

Made for TV movies. Romance novels. Disney princesses. Leaving the umbrella behind on days that the forecast calls for 70% rain. Agreeing to plans a week ahead of time without taking into consideration that your state of mind might be entirely different when the time comes. Lottery tickets.

Meal prepping. Sticking to a workout schedule. Doing the laundry and also putting all of the clothes away in the same day. Making eye contact with someone cute on public transportation and creating an entire narrative for them in your head. Liking the outfit you picked out last night in the morning. Instagram models.

First dates. Wearing a white shirt to an Italian restaurant. Thinking you can change your negative habits in one day. Makeup tutorials. Hair tutorials. Cooking tutorials. Drawing tutorials. Tutorials in general. Putting off tasks until the last minute. Taking a nap without setting an alarm.

Keeping up with a daily journal. Harboring the idea that the person you cannot get out of your head is also spending the same amount of time thinking about you. Waking up earlier than normal to try to avoid being late. Cover letters. Dating apps.

Opening old wounds and expecting a different outcome. Remembering a person from your past as just the positive memories. The subway schedule running on time. Dimly-lit clothing stores. Tea cleanses. Telling yourself you cannot order pizza after a night out.

Looking at yourself through someone else’s eyes. Being the person your pet thinks you are. Masking all of your depression with self care. Buying one drink at the bar. Waterproof mascara. New Year’s Eve. Watching the Bachelorette.

Dwelling on the past. Getting swept up in nostalgia. Believing that your past self or your future self are somehow better than the present version. Wasting time dreaming about everything quixotic, rather than reveling in the tangible.